Let me tell you a story: I used to date this chick who swore her cat could predict the future. No joke—she’d lay out her tarot cards, light some “medicinal” incense, and let the cat paw at the cards. If Fluffy hit the Tower, it was time to panic. Surprisingly, the cat was right about more things than I’d like to admit, including my ex’s cosmic ability to ghost people. But that’s not the point. The point is: random sh*t like this is what makes content work.
People want relatable, weird, and sometimes borderline unhinged stories. That’s what sticks. So, whether you’re writing about SEO, sci-fi dystopias, or why cats are clearly aliens in disguise, the same rules apply. Let’s break it down.
1. Cats, Weed, and Aliens = Clickbait Gold
Ever notice how anything involving cats, weed, or aliens gets clicks?
- Cats: People love them. Write about cats predicting SEO trends, and you’re golden.
- Weed: Tie it into productivity hacks or “creative breakthroughs,” and boom—instant traffic.
- Aliens: The internet lives for UFO conspiracy theories, especially if you can connect them to pop culture or science.
Experiment Idea:
Write a blog post titled, “10 SEO Tips I Learned From My Cat on Weed (While Watching Ancient Aliens).” Will it rank? Who knows. But it’ll definitely get shared.
2. Tarot and Astrology: The SEO Cheat Codes
Astrology content is an evergreen traffic machine. People love being told how the stars are messing up their lives, especially when you throw in SEO-friendly phrases like “Mercury retrograde survival tips.”
Example Titles That’ll Get Clicks:
- “The Best Keywords for Every Zodiac Sign”
- “How to Use Tarot to Predict Your Blog Traffic”
- “SEO Lessons From the 12 Houses of Astrology”
Don't just steal my ideas though... I'm actually going to post these over on my hobby site Crescent Moon Goddess.
Pro Tip:
Tie this stuff into current events. For example, “Why Mercury Retrograde Is Killing Your Website Speed” will resonate with astrology nerds and frustrated bloggers.
3. Sci-Fi Dystopian Stories Sell (Especially If They Feel Real)
People are obsessed with dystopian futures because, let’s face it, we’re kind of living in one. If you can connect your content to themes like AI overlords, climate disasters, or society’s obsession with cats (seriously, they’re everywhere), you’re in business.
SEO-Friendly Sci-Fi Content Ideas:
- “How AI Will Destroy (or Save) SEO in the Dystopian Future”
- “The Sci-Fi Writers’ Guide to Predicting Search Trends”
- “Are Cats Secretly Controlling Google’s Algorithm?”
Weird Thought:
What if Google is an alien intelligence, slowly taking over? (Okay, maybe that’s the weed talking.)
4. Building a Vocabulary Empire
Ever notice how some blogs throw in “big words” just to sound smart? Don’t do that. Instead, aim for vocab that’s sharp, punchy, and fits your vibe.
Words That Work for Specific Vibes:
- Funny/Quirky: Snarky, ridiculous, cosmic, dumpster fire, cringe-worthy.
- Dystopian/Serious: Ominous, existential, fractal, anomaly, collapse.
- Magical/Mystical: Enigmatic, celestial, serendipitous, arcane, ethereal.
Fun Experiment:
Write a blog post using only words that start with “C” (cats, chaos, conspiracies, clairvoyance). Why? Because sometimes creativity is just weird constraints. You can also use literary devices like alliteration to make your message resonate.
5. Common Facts (That People Can’t Stop Googling)
“Common facts” content works because people love learning random sh*t they can drop into conversations. Here are some evergreen ideas:
- “Cats Have a Dominant Paw—Just Like Humans” (Yes, it’s true.)
- “How Ancient Civilizations Predicted Eclipses Using Astrology”
- “The Origin of the Word ‘Weed’ (And Why It’s Funny)”
SEO Tip:
Combine these with trending keywords. For example: “The Sci-Fi Roots of Elon Musk’s Mars Dreams” or “10 Facts About Cats That Prove They’re Aliens.”
6. Random Story Time: How I Almost Got Abducted (Maybe)
One time, I was stargazing in the middle of nowhere, and I swear I saw something move faster than any plane. Was it an alien? Probably not. But for about five minutes, I was convinced I was about to get beamed up, and my first thought was, “Man, I hope they don’t read my blog.”
The point? Stories like this stick. Whether it’s about aliens, exes, or the time your cat destroyed your keyboard, people love them. They make your content human—and humans click, share, and come back for more.
7. Learn Something Weird and Make It Relatable
If you want your blog to stand out, go deep on random, weird niches.
- Tarot for SEO: Which card best represents your traffic this month? (Hint: Probably The Tower.)
- Astrology for Writers: Do Geminis write better blog titles?
- Sci-Fi Meets Reality: What dystopian fiction teaches us about viral marketing.
Final Thoughts: Be Weird, Be Real
If you’re not writing content that’s a little weird, a little funny, and a lot personal, you’re missing out. The internet is saturated with cookie-cutter posts about “10 Ways to Boost Your SEO.” People want cat stories, alien conspiracies, and wild anecdotes they can share over coffee.
So, go write about how your cat predicted your blog’s success while you were high and watching Blade Runner. Or don’t—and let someone else steal your audience.
PS - did I write this post just to shamelessly link to a few of the new side-projects I'm building? Yes... but it's OK, I'm allowed to do that. I've got the keys.
